


If Things Had Been Different...

by ThatWeirdSkittle



Category: markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Hard to Handle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 06:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10736277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWeirdSkittle/pseuds/ThatWeirdSkittle
Summary: A what if. Derivative work of Hard to Handle, though not strictly necessary to read it, it's highly recommended.





	If Things Had Been Different...

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hard to Handle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7682962) by [ThatWeirdSkittle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWeirdSkittle/pseuds/ThatWeirdSkittle). 



**…He Would Have Kissed You**

_Mark knows before the bottle even starts to slow down that it is going to stop on you and he is glad. Other people in the circle are saying things, cheering, whistling. He doesn’t care. He wants you._

_He stands and approaches you across the circle. He pulls you up and into his arms. He’s saying something, a joke that makes the circle laugh but that you don’t quite catch._

_He’s warm and he smells like aftershave and alcohol._

_“Hello, gorgeous. Now, let me tell you everything you need to know about the Mark Fischbach 2016 model. He is single. He is suave. He is (not) very tall. He smells great...” He does smell pretty great. It takes you a long moment to realize that he is getting closer and that the whole group is chanting for Mark to kiss you.  You can feel the alcohol in your system and the warmth on your cheeks. You can smell the alcohol on his breath, but then he is kissing you and you don’t care._

_His kiss is electrifying. It makes you forget how to breathe even as the room erupts into uproarious applause. You slide him a dollar and he winks at you before he returns to his seat._

_You sit and wonder how much of that was just for the dare._

_The party rages on, with various shots and kisses and lap dances passed around the whole group. You can feel Mark’s eyes on you, but you pretend like you don’t notice._

_His gaze is hot and heavy, and if you acknowledge it, you will wilt under its intensity._

_He catches you later in the night, right as you are slipping out the front door to go home._

_“Hey, I’d really like to see you again, if that’s alright.” You exchange numbers with him and then you are gone. It would be much more romantic and mysterious if you simply disappeared, but sometimes mysterious wasn’t necessary._

**...He Would Have Texted You**

_You wake up the morning after the party with the worst hangover of your life. It had been a long time since you drank that much alcohol and your body was punishing you for that. You groaned and rolled over in bed, trying to cling to the remnants of sleep still lingering in your aching brain._

_Your phone had other ideas, vibrating loudly against your dresser. If your reflexes had been in working order, you would have thrown your phone against your bedroom wall and been done with it. Then again, if your reflexes had been in working order, you wouldn’t be ridiculously hungover and thus wouldn’t want to destroy your cell phone._

_Hey, it’s Mark._

_Hazy memories of the night before come back and you reach the conclusion that you have to text him back. You remember the heat of his gaze and the brush of his lips and the depth of his voice, but not much else. You had cancelled your plans with Dan the night before. You felt the hangover coming and he had plans immediately after anyway. You will feel guilty about that later, but for now this hangover was going to kill you._

_Hey, Mark!_

_I’m in your area and know a great place that does hangover plates. Would it be too forward to ask if I could come over?_

_And then:_

_I’d like to see you again._

_It was too forward, but you don’t tell him that. Instead you asked him to bring you Gatorade and he is at your apartment half an hour later with two heavy to-go boxes and a comically over-sized bottle of your favorite color Gatorade._

_“You look gorgeous, for a dead person.” He says with a sly grin as you let him inside your apartment. You stick your tongue out at him and lock the door. He makes a beeline for your dining room table and opens the to-go boxes. The smell of glorious, fattening, greasy food fills your apartment and you imagine that it smelled something like salvation._

**… He Would Have Waited For You**

_By the time Mark and Mica convince you to get off the dance floor, you are beyond wasted. The three of you attempt to find Dan, Suzy, Arin, and Barry in the crowded club, but they seem to have disappeared. Mark helps you back into your heels and wraps an arm around you to keep you upright._

_The cool night air blasts you as you walk outside and you remember how to breathe. Mica’s Uber gets there first and you send her off with a kiss to the cheek and a promise to watch some anime that had come up during the night._

_You and Mark fall into an Uber together, barely managing to keep your hands off of each other as you sneak kisses in the back seat. The ride home is painfully long as Mark traces circles into your thigh, sending jolts of sensation up your spine. You stroke him through his pants, whispering promises of what you’re going to do to him when you get home._

_You stumble up the stairs to your apartment and Mark takes your keys from you, unlocking the door and helping you inside. With some direction, he manages to navigate you to your bedroom where you attempt to drag him into bed. He kisses you softly and promises that he’ll be back in the morning._

_He tucks you in and asks you to text him sober, taking your spare apartment key off your nightstand to lock your door behind him._

**… He Would Have Told You**

_Mark strolls into your apartment with your underwear in his hand. He wasn’t sure how they’d ended up in his laundry, but it was a good enough excuse to talk to you, and he needed to talk to you. You had been hanging out with Dan, who greeted Mark with a grin on his way out of your apartment. Mark looked between the two of you and Dan shook his head, giving Mark a reassuring pat on the back._

_Mark sat you down on your couch and your stomach dropped. The two of you had been playing fast and loose and casual and it was fun, but you didn’t want it to end. You had managed to stifle your anxiety that he would find someone else and move on so far, but it suddenly became very real._

_“This isn’t working for me.” He admitted, placing your panties on your coffee table. They were vibrant pink and lacy and somehow the juxtaposition of the serious conversation with your ridiculous underwear settled your stomach._

_“What do you mean?” You managed. Your throat was dry and your words felt heavy in your mouth. Mark took your hand and you tried your best to hide the sinking feeling that was dragging you down. This was never meant to be serious. You were going to enjoy yourselves, that was the agreement. You should have seen this coming._

_“I can’t keep doing this with you. I want more. I know we said that we wanted casual and fun, but I think about you all the time. I make excuses to drive over here just so I can see your face when I surprise you with food. I worry constantly that you’re going to find someone else. That you’re going to move on to someone better.” Mark didn’t say Dan’s name, but you both knew who he was talking about. You shook your head slowly._

_“Mark I-“_

_“I want to make this official. Us, I mean. I want to be official.” You laughed. You couldn’t help but to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Mark didn’t know what the laugh meant, but it was a beautiful sound and at least you were smiling. You didn’t answer in words, instead pulling him across the couch into a kiss that transitioned into more._

**… He Would Have You**

Mark sits on his couch in his living room, wondering what it would be like if things had gone differently. He wonders what it would be like to make you smile constantly, to comfort you, to _be_ with you. He wonders what you would have said if he would have told you the truth.

He wonders if it would have made a difference.

He wipes his hand over his face and looks down at his phone. He had drafted a confession text at some point in his drunken stupor, but he had managed to keep his composure enough not to send it. He deleted it, now, along with the rest of your message thread and all of the silly selfies from nights at bars and not so silly pictures from nights in his bed. He deleted calendar events that he had scheduled to surprise you with your favorite foods and movies you had wanted to see. He blocked your phone number and deleted that, too.

If only things had been different.


End file.
